history, herstory + who cares?

selves imposed a threat
oh your name moaned
in mood lighting

repeating selves
each without history

my love
15 minutes late
and i cannot breathe

and now i must mend this?

i don't think
what i said was true

i, heather utah,
would like to
formally issue
a retraction
of the words

the unbearable lightness
and a drastic
change of tradition

imposed a place
a threat to mend a gap

i sat in the queen chair
you, eunuch
number one left hand man

THIS ENDS TONIGHT

grasping, lies + reality

trying to be
without actually bean

STOP WITH YOUR
SLANDEROUS LIES

looking into your eyes
i'm having trouble
seeing next thursday
let alone infinity

it increases physical
awareness -

please, please

becoming is a reality
not imagined, not dreamt
but a state full of
you and of me

when i was very young
i stayed home
collected stamps
and made up people
named after fonts

backing out
of a tender tendril
if only to be lost
again, shining

WE, SORCERERS

maybe i will stand
by and document your fall
with sexual distance

piercing, needless + needles

but i flew to the shores
of a web
to find you
only to throw you
back from whence
you came

speech is nothing
i can only show you
my silly portal trying

we are beginning
to crepp out
of the ventilation

changing behaviors
grandiose noise but

i know the dirty rag
in your corners
and what they meant
to you and to me

i am no thing
compared to the
needles you cave to

SO WHAT SO FUCKING WHAT

i only wanted to make
htings
right between these selves

that act of piercing
together
harming to mend

what brought you here?

boner, sonar + lots of stabbing

bodymind

you and both
know this is true

i am trying
to rob you of your
organs
spleen, please

how did it come
to this?
soft chine world

underwater
subsonar
roar

in a quiet
fore shadow of doubt

likes ::
knitting shivs
wielding ball
peen hammers

tastes the blood
from the bite

knowing inside and out
literally
pulling it out of your body

i only wanted you
to know
why
i wanted everything